I think it's good to build rapport with co-workers. Important to spend time together and bond. Or maybe I'm just lonely.Most of my motivation for the ridiculous things I do involves an "I just want them to like me!" or a "I just want to fit in..." mentality. Hence, spending over $50 on a bottle of wine to bring to a party and pretending to smell things like darkly roasted unfair trade coffee or leather from a 2 year old dressage saddle.
I wandered the Vintages section of the LCBO, scanning the price tags. For once, my heart didn't leap with joy at colourful label designs, labels with quirky mammals, or something under $8.75. No, the pressure was on to find something that might impress my colleagues, or at least trick them into thinking it was from Cote du Rhone, not Chianti. "Oooh, this'll get 'em," piped up my helpful liquor store friend. "100% nebbiolo...they'll think it's Barolo. But really...it's Barbaresco." I nodded knowingly. "Nice, great pick, love it." I murmured, resisting the urge to high five.
I returned home with my choice, keen to hide the label with creative collage skills. Finally, me in tasteful floral and my bottle in leopard print and a Tommy Hilfiger ad, we were ready. Arriving, I eagerly pulled my bottle from the paper bag, to show off my decorative finesse. "Non!" shrieked the Frenchman. "You mustn't show us anything! Even the bottle's shape can give it away!" Inwardly rolling my eyes, but outwardly nodding and smiling, "Just kidding, Pierre! Only trying to psych you out." I hid my well dressed bottle dejectedly, but was quickly soothed by the sight of rabbit terrine and truffle oil on the table. Let the drinking commence!
Turns out there's this big wheel with all sorts of things you might find yourself tasting or smelling in your wine. My personal favourites include: wet dog, sauerkraut, soy sauce and filter pad. Luckily, none of the bottles at this party reeked like any such thing. Rather, we had freshly cut grass, lavender, touches of caramel, even some blue cheese. I won big points for sniffing out some pine needles.
While I may have been rather far from selecting the right grape or region, I did get pretty drunk. Bottles of Fifty or $50 plus bottles of wine - that, my friends, is indeed the best way to build rapport with your co-workers.