Dear Hostess,
When I said I didn't want to seat a deuce at my open table of four, I didn't mean that I wanted two parents, a newborn and a two year old to sit there.
My section has six tables. Is it really necessary to fill four of them within five minutes? And why must you say my name when you give them the menus? Couldn't you at least make up a fake one? I don't need them screaming my name across the dining room.
When I give you my subtle death stare, it means, "I served those two at lunch, don't you dare sit them in my section for dinner." It can also mean, "Don't you dare let those four switch tables. Tell them the window is reserved, tell them it's drafty, say anything at all but DON'T sit them in my section now."
When you answer the phone, be sure to tell that party of eight that an eighteen percent gratuity is automatically added for parties of six or more. I don't want any surprises when they show up, and I certainly don't want to deal with any 12%, separate check, high maintenance crap.
Also, you're showing too much cleavage.
Love,
Your Server
Monday, September 29, 2008
On Tipping
I was on a second date at one of my favourite bars. We called it a night after two drinks, and the bill was only $21. I left some cash while he paid the entirety on his credit card. My stomach heaved as I sneaked a peek. The tip? Two dollars. I feigned a bathroom break and pressed $5 into the hand of our server's colleague. "Make sure she gets this," I whispered, blushing. "I don't think he left enough." This episode was enough to turn me off for good. Here is a compilation of my fervent tipping beliefs.
- Ten percent is an insult. So is tipping before the tax. A server has to tip out the runners and the house, so a ten percent tip can mean not even seven percent in their pocket.
- If your bill is $60.12, why not leave $12? What's with $11.88? Seriously.
- If you can't afford to leave a 15% gratuity, you can't afford the meal you've ordered.
- The most common and despised tips: $9 on anything between $61 and $69. $10 on anything between $71-79. $12 on $81-89. An extra two dollars can mean a lot. $11 instead of $9, $17 instead of $15. Not a huge difference to you, but adds up over a night and is greatly appreciated.
- A sincere thank you and goodbye means nothing to me if you can't show your appreciation on your credit card. My heart always sinks to hear "We really enjoyed ourselves. That was great. Thank you so much!" and get a firm handshake. That handshake and genuine thanks isn't going to pay off my student loan or heating bill.
- The gift certificate - it is essential to tip on the total of your bill, before the deduction of the certificate amount. You got that much of your meal for free anyway, how can your conscience let you skimp on the tip?
- The fight for the bill - We've all seen those two couples out together, one loud and boisterous gentleman insisting he'll take the check while the other snatches it from his hand, making for an awkward episode as the server backs away hesitantly, hoping it will be resolved. If you are the winning check-payer, you also have the won the responsibility of leaving an appropriate gratuity.
Understanding Rien Avant
Just water, please. No, nothing to start. I like it well done. Miss, we have a show to catch. Excuse me! More coffee! Can I have something else instead of potato?
If you've ever worked in a restaurant, you'll know what I'm trying to say. You understand the delicate balance of trying to please the customer, avoid agitating the chef and refrain from throwing red wine in someone's face. Working in the service industry allows you to see the truth of a person's soul. You can measure the generosity, compassion, understanding and patience of a person by how they behave in a restaurant and treat the server. It is appalling to see how some people will speak to a server. The server is essentially a stranger, and yet a customer feels entitled to address them in a way they would never consider speaking to any other stranger.
Rien avant is not necessarily a simple lack of an appetizer. Rien avant is often accompanied by: water with lemon and lots of ice, refills of coffee before and during the meal, requests for extra bread, no dessert, and a ten percent tip. This creates the most work for the server with undeniably the least reward. Often, a rien avant type of person will ask your name, constantly make lame jokes with you, sometimes trick you into a false sense of security and rapport. They will mislead you into thinking they like you, appreciate your service, and pretend to leave you with an acceptable gratuity.
However, this is not to say rien avant will always leave you with a sense of deep resentment and confusion. Rien avant can mean no appetizers, but a cocktail to start and then a bottle of wine. These people may like to savour only one course, but the extras add up to remind you that some people do have class, respect and a polite attitude when dining in public.
At any rate, the service industry is definitely challenging, tiring, frustrating and demeaning. It can also be financially worthwhile, hilarious, interesting and rewarding. Rien Avant is about spreading compassion, humour and understanding for the hardworking souls who bring your drinks, serve your food, clear your plates and wipe your tables.
If you've ever worked in a restaurant, you'll know what I'm trying to say. You understand the delicate balance of trying to please the customer, avoid agitating the chef and refrain from throwing red wine in someone's face. Working in the service industry allows you to see the truth of a person's soul. You can measure the generosity, compassion, understanding and patience of a person by how they behave in a restaurant and treat the server. It is appalling to see how some people will speak to a server. The server is essentially a stranger, and yet a customer feels entitled to address them in a way they would never consider speaking to any other stranger.
Rien avant is not necessarily a simple lack of an appetizer. Rien avant is often accompanied by: water with lemon and lots of ice, refills of coffee before and during the meal, requests for extra bread, no dessert, and a ten percent tip. This creates the most work for the server with undeniably the least reward. Often, a rien avant type of person will ask your name, constantly make lame jokes with you, sometimes trick you into a false sense of security and rapport. They will mislead you into thinking they like you, appreciate your service, and pretend to leave you with an acceptable gratuity.
However, this is not to say rien avant will always leave you with a sense of deep resentment and confusion. Rien avant can mean no appetizers, but a cocktail to start and then a bottle of wine. These people may like to savour only one course, but the extras add up to remind you that some people do have class, respect and a polite attitude when dining in public.
At any rate, the service industry is definitely challenging, tiring, frustrating and demeaning. It can also be financially worthwhile, hilarious, interesting and rewarding. Rien Avant is about spreading compassion, humour and understanding for the hardworking souls who bring your drinks, serve your food, clear your plates and wipe your tables.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
