Saturday, November 8, 2008

I Need A Goddamn Pen

There are never enough pens. I've started guarding my pens ferociously, because I despise that panicky feeling when I have to return someone's credit card slip and there's not a writing utensil to be found. I also think it's really tacky to give an ugly pen, a coloured pen, or a pencil as the object which is probably going to record my tip.

But why are there never enough? The pens we have kicking around are not snazzy enough to steal. I usually get the pen back that I gave. But then where does it go? Some freaky pen void, apparently. I also hate pens without lids. I kept finding pen lids in the garbage, and flipping out about it. Finally the offending lid disposer confronted me, saying she hated pens with lids. Infuriating to discover 17 discarded lids and no pens.

Someone made a trip to the dollar store and loaded up on pens. These hastily exploded on my hands, and stopped writing after two usages. Some wouldn't write at all. Someone posted a pen incentive: free breakfast for the one who scrounged up the most pens. A handful of matching pens appeared, but the clicky mechanisms all broke and the pens were rendered useless.

I need to eliminate this pen stress. Pending a solution...I'll start memorizing all orders, and customers will only leave cash. I'll have to pensively consider this dilemma a little further. Any pen puns are appreciated.

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